Painful

I have the worst headache today. Nothing helps it. I've never had one that's felt like this. It's like I have a rubber band around my entire head. That constant pressure won't go away. OW.

I'm excited about tomorrow though. Courtney, Monica, and I, plus this cute guy from my spanish class are going to play some soccer. I really like this guy. He's really nice. He's Latino, and I've discovered that Latino guys are my "type". I'm just REALLY attracted to Latinos. Anyway, I don't know if he "likes" me. We've exchanged numbers and all, and we text on and off. But I get to this certain point and I turn off. I just don't want to get to know them more. I think it's cause I'm scared of what I'll discover. I'm scared of getting attached, and that I'll get hurt again. So yeah. I'm just determined to just let things be. If something happens, it happens. If it doesn't, oh well.

I think I'm now going to lay down or something. Cause this pain just isn't flying with me.

Why Do Things Change?

So yesterday I found out that they are closing the Starbucks I work at. They're aiming for June 1st. I'm shocked. Floored. Still hoping in vain that it isn't true. But it is. And there is nothing I can do about it.

I know it was just a job. But for me it wasn't. I owe the life I have right now to that store and all the people in it. I made my best friends there. It was because of Starbucks that I had my first kiss. All the people there helped me come out of my shell. I was a super introverted person. But I'm not anymore. I have confidence in myself now. I can't believe that soon that building will just be an empty shell. That I'll drive by it everyday, reminded everyday of all the great memories, the great times I had there. I don't want it to end. But I know everything has to end eventually. But I wasn't ready for it to end this soon.

I'm going to miss our customers SO much. They're all so special to me. What are they going to do now?

What am I going to do now? It's so hard to find a job. I'm probably going to have to work at McDonald's or something like that. I've always tried to be positive about change. But the truth is I'm scared of change. Of change I don't want. I'm going to have to get used to a whole new routine. Get used to a new schedule, get used to new people, everything. I'm so freaking scared. I loved this job. SO MUCH.

Now what am I going to do?

Recap.

Lots has been happening in life. Work, School, Family, Horses, Friends. It's crazy. But fun. That doesn't mean there aren't the bad days where I feel like I suck at life. But the good days make up for most of the bad.

Here is a little long recap since I've been gone so long.

If you look back through all my old posts, you would see some about Marcos. That was a big ordeal. But I can honestly say now that I'm over him. I REALLY am. It's such a relief. He will always be a part of my memories because I had my first kiss with him, and you can't really push the memory of your first kiss out of your head.

I'm falling for another guy. Yeah. WHY GOD!?! Another Latino. I like 'em dark. What can I say??? Heehee. Just a couple of problems. I don't know whether he's taken, or if he even likes me. He's in my spanish class, which Is tonight.... so I plan on asking him if he's dating anyone..... I'm so bad at this. But I'll let you know how it goes.

Work is the same. Stressful, full of unneeded drama. I swear I'm not making enough money to make up for all the crap I go through. But it's a job. So I'm sticking with it. There isn't much else out there anyway.

April, Courtney, and I are still close as ever. They're the best friends ever. Seriously.

So yeah. I will post more often.